Friday, May 04, 2007

I've had all I can stand, and I canst stands no more...

Smallcock has gleefully (and meanly may I add) asserted that my favorite football team will be terrible again next year. Obviously I can't stand by and do nothing as this snot-nosed little puke impugns my team. The gauntlet has truly been thrown down.

I propose that we engage in a wager. The stakes? Very high indeed. The bet is simple, which of our favorite teams will have a better record in the upcoming campaign. I'll not even ask for favorable odds because the Raiders conference is far more competitive and good than the shitty NFC, which houses the crappy Savages of Maryland. Pussy.

The winner shall be able to have the obvious bragging rights associated with having the superior squad, and knowing the other party is languishing in humiliation. But more than this, I propose that the unlucky loser of this wager be forced sleep for one full night on the strip of carpet in front of Big Blue Monkey's couch (sans protective barrier, even a pillow, and in nothing more than shorts).

Bring it on.


Miwacar said...

Fucking Hi-larious! Kudos young man for a fine prize!

Muumuuman said...

Since all of our favorite teams suck, we should all jump on this wager. I'll take the Lions, and lady good-axe-wound, a reciever can't make a difference to a team? Randy Moss helped this 1990 number one draft pick not only look good, but almost beat the unstoppable Rams in the 1999 AFC championship game.
One addendum: Is the loser allowed to apply some sort of anti-parasite cream to themselves?

Badcock said...

MMManm = a parasite needs a stable, relatively antiseptic environment in which to live inside its host. I don't think Big BM's place qualifies.

But fuck it, we can open it up. I'd love to crank up vs. the Raiders, but if the Lions want to get in on the wagon, let's have an all-wide all-season team contest.

But the Original Question is No-Wood's Raiders vs. the Proud Native Peoples of This Land (the Redskins).

You fucking better believe I'll accept that bet, No-Wood. Having spent my 10th college reunion in just such a losing-bet state (and a lovely time I had, and I didn't have to worry about pissing off the asian exchange student next door ... fuck, all of a sudden making fun of quiet asians is dangerous) and I was tipped onto Craig Finn and Arrested Development and rekindled my love of cold MN/Wisconsin canned beer.

Bad Taste?

No thanks, I already got some you see!