Thursday, May 31, 2007

Manchester United Reloads; Settle Down Sir Alex!

So I was reading the soccer headlines at my place to do so, Sanford's Soccer Net, and good Lord, have the Red Devils been busy in the last week or so.

Before I get into what are basically done deals, let's take a quick look at some of the players they are still looking at. To be fair, these men probably are staying with their current clubs, but you never know: Samuel Eto'o, Dimitar Berbatov, Klaas Jan Huntelaar, and Jermaine Defoe. Moving on...

Sir Alex saw sprinty, dribbly Portugese players, and saw that they were good. And so Sir Alex said, "Let There Be More Sprinty Dribby Players in Manchester, but Not Wearing That Wussy Light Blue" And so it was.

Nani, as Goal.com points out, is "with some good pace, excellent dribbling skills to beat players, and the ability to put the ball just where he wants, he possesses everything a modern winger should. " Some video evidence of that:




And then apparently, Sir Alex noticed that fucking Giggsy, one of the best left-wingers ever to play in the Premiership is actually getting up there in age. I can't believe Giggsy is still playing. I was worshipping him 10 years ago, if not 15. But Sir Alex has decided that it may be time to look for a replacement, and he said, "I love these Portugese Players, but didn't they also teach an entire country how to play soccer, and isn't that country pretty good at soccer? Can we not find a talented winger from Brazil?" And so, they did. Say hello to Anderson.




It should be noted, as it was by Fernando Duerte, that Anderson scored this goal at age 17, with comparisons to Ronaldinho already flying.

To finish up the first couple of weeks of the offseason, Sir Alex Ferguson looked around and said, "Holding Midfield is Good." And so, He Acquired One of the Best Holding Midfielders in the World. Apparently, Owen Hargreaves will be joining the Red Devils on July 1st. You'll notice in that article that Hargreaves departure from Bayern Munich was confirmed by Franz fucking Beckenbauer. I'd like one of my exits to be confirmed by Franz Beckenbauer. Even just leaving a bathroom:

"Franz Beckenbauer confirms that Big Blue Monkey left the bathroom, and that it was kind of stinky after he left."

I'd take that. Why? Because he's fucking Franz Beckenbauer.

And ladies (and gay men, and heterosexual men who can admire a beautiful man)? Owen is awfully pretty, too.

1 comment:

Muumuuman said...

Nani: Best celebration ever.