Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Stay out of the Hidden Valley

Marco Castro, a 17-year-old at Wheaton North High School in Illinois, was sentenced to a fine, community service and two years probation after pleading guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct. What sort of conduct, you might ask?

He took a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the school cafeteria into a bathroom and pumped in a load of his creamy jizz. The he returned the ranch dressing to the salad bar.

Castro was expelled and did not graduate.

Castro told police he conceived the zany prank after watching a movie filled with crude stunts (it could have been Teen Wolf Too: electric boogaloo).

In court, the Chicago Bears fan was contrite: "I have no explanation for what I did. I felt bad after I did it."

Fool! You should have told them you were only kidding.

3 comments:

Zach Landres-Schnur said...

i heard some fucked up shit about a similar thing, but after jerking off in the ranch (or some sort of sauce) whoever ate it contracted an STD.

and no, it wasn't paris hilton.

Badcock said...

Are you trying to tell me I should stop selling my broken glass 'n'AIDS muffins at the state fair?

Phil said...

Those muffins are surprisingly good.