Thursday, August 07, 2008

A Prognostication of Sorts

So here's how it goes down. Brett "Hitman" Favre, the newest neuron connection for the Mangenius, joins a so-so Jets team and immediately lifts their potential and level of play. They come out of the gates steamrolling opponents going 4-0 before anyone realizes that it can't last. Even though Favre has played in 275 straight games, he succumbs to the hoodoo that is the Madden Curse. In a freak off the field accident, Favre skewers his eye while performing a shish-kabob trick at his weekly bbq for his offensive linemen. A tandem of beefy o-linemen pick him up to carry him to the car and in route stumble and fall, resulting in 700 lbs of man-meat impacting the skewer, driving it through Favre's brain and out the back of his head, where it must remain for fear of irreparable damage. From that day forward a deranged and hidiously deformed Brett Favre becomes a recluse, haunting the bowels of Giant Stadium, living off of rats and disacarded popcorn. He is eventually joined by societal outcast, teenage girl humpper and best freind Mark Chmura "Chewie". The duo spends the rest of their days using the business end of the skewer to pop Chewie's zits and playing a human version of darts.

1 comment:

Jess said...

Would putting a skewer into the eye of my Brett Favre voodoo doll help this to happen any faster? I'm willing to do my part to make this come true.