Wednesday, January 14, 2009

NFL Titbits

Just a couple little nibbles. Y'all gotta understand, I'm running a restaurant and don't have the time to be as sardonically irreverent as I'd like. But I did have to mention:

1) Nerfneck Turner fired four assistant coaches yesterday. This is just the most recent instance of Coach Bitch blaming others. Earlier this season, he fired his defensive coordinator Ted Cotrell. This is one of the many, many dishonorable eczema scars that define Nerf Turner. Hey, Coach Bitch: you ran for fifteen yards against the Steelers. You suck!

2) Jake Delhomme's 5 INT against the Cardinals was the worst performance since Rich Gannon upchucked in the 2003 Superbowl. Delhomme's commitment to excellence included a fumble, which has to rank as one of the worst-ever performances by a good* quarterback.

* according to the popular unconscious. See: Carl Jung


Muumuuman said...

You have an unhealthy dislike of Norv Turner. Come on Wice - forgive and forget! I understand schadenfreude for TO and the cowboys (I would be pleased if TO has to leave the NFL sans ring) but it's been 8 years since he coached your skins.

Andrew Wice said...

He ran my team into the ground for SEVEN years (he was fired midway through the seventh season).

It took them SEVEN years for them to realize what I knew during his inaugural 3-13 season: he sucks.

Those were a long seven years (with one playoff win!), watching the neck turn beet red on the sidelines while play calling another terrible game.

Then, after the loss, his press conference would be a long blame game: the weather, injuries, the refs, the players ... anyone but him.

Seven years. 49-59-1. Then Oakland and then ... the Chargers hand him the reins of the most talented football team in the NFL. Let's see how this is going to go. 11-5 first year, 8-8 second year ... why the FUCK is this guy going to get a third year?

Jim Zorn went 8-8 his first year and there was a moronic clamor for firing him.

What deal with the devil did Turner strike in order to be given an endless supply of rope to hang himself with, but never die?