KNOXVILLE, Tenn. -- Pat Summitt is the newest millionaire coach -- and the first in women's basketball.
Tennessee raised Summitt's salary Monday to $1.125 million for next season and extended her contract six years, through the 2011-12 season.
Also, women play excellent fundamental basketball. And you know, as far as I'm concerned the word fundamental is a synonym for EXCITING. What an awesome two-handed chest shot that was! Whoo.
Seriously, though, Pat Summitt should probably be coaching in the NBA by now. If I were a Knicks Fan, I know I'd rather see Pat Summitt courtside than Isiah Thomas. Hell, I'd rather see Whoopi Goldberg.
Hell, Why Not? Pat Summitt For Knicks Coach! Imagine the pleasure Isiah can take in walking into her office, shaking his head, and saying "This is what you choose to do with your life?" And then grabbing her ass.
(I just noticed that one of the attorneys in the case was Peter Parcher, so if I may, let me make this joke, "Peter, with great power of attorney, comes great Responsibility." Ahh, that felt good).
Also, (and I know this post is rapidly evolving (devolving)) back in January, the folks at Betus.com posted odds on what would happen with Isiah, and I don't see "Taking over as Head Coach" or hiring "Pat Summitt as Head Coach, touching her ass" as an option, which means, presumably, big money could be had on those longshots.
Time to work on that Time Machine, Made from Wood and Gumption.