Friday, November 09, 2007

Koy Detmer Is a Little Off

That's what my mom would say about him. She wouldn't call him crazy, or weird, or strange. He's just "a little off." I had a co-worker who used to refuse to use negative words when describing people. She invariably described people she didn't like as being "unique". When someone was a complete dick, she would say, "Oh, he has a unique way of communicating."

Two things about that. When you use a word not loaded with negative value, and you describe people you clearly don't like with it, it becomes a negative word. You are still not describing that person positively, or even neutrally. Everyone knows what you mean. Secondly, describing someone who is maybe mentally ill as "unique" just because they have money and are somewhat successful at what they do isn't doing anyone any favors.

We've had our fun with Koy lately.

Based on the Star Tribune article on Koy Detmer, he isn't just unique, or funny. He may be Obsessive-Compulsive.

Here's the key graf, as far as I'm concerned: [W]hen Detmer shows up Saturday to catch the team bus, he won't have a travel bag. He will have his playbook and perhaps his cell phone. He will have a toothbrush shoved in his pocket. And that's it.

Essentially, ever since Koy entered the league, he goes to Target at the beginning of the year, buys an outfit, and wears it for every single road trip. He doesn't pack a change of clothes. He doesn't pack anything at all. Not an extra pair of underwear (former Philly and current Viking teammate Artis Hicks rather optimistically suggests, "I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing he turns his underwear inside out on the way home."

This is not just eccentric behavior, no? This is mental illness, right? I know, before you can judge, you have know Koy's thinking behind the "leave for a weekend, bring nothing but the clothes on your back" philosophy. Surely, he has a reason.

Well, um, not so much:

"I can't really say why I do it," Detmer said. "It just started out that I did it and it just didn't change. I don't have to worry about leaving stuff or wonder where everything is at. That's always a pain, walking off feeling like you left something."

To avoid leaving something behind, he BRINGS NOTHING. Koy Detmer, believe it or not, has made more money in the past five years than you will make your entire life. And yet, for fear of leaving a pair of jeans in a hotel somewhere, he refuses to bring a change of clothes. People who do shit like this have usually gone through a traumatic experience. Koy Detmer isn't a Holocaust survivor. He's a career NFL QB--he can afford to lose a pair of fucking of jeans.

He's a goofy ass Mormon with some serious mental issues. He's also better than Tavaris Jackson. Jeff George is looking better every day.


Andrew Wice said...

Sorry, I was on the can. Did you write that Jeff George and Koy Detmer are options at QB for the Vikes?

Hey bone-daddies, I'll trade you Mark Brunnell and Todd Collins and Clinton Portis and Al Saunders and a whole bunch of NASCAR stickers and shit for just your lil' ol' RB A. Peterson.

Lucy Rhode said...

I planned to spend my three hour flight reliving the highlights of this past week, but instead I thought about IDYFT, mental illness and this boy called Koy. Thanks Blue Monkey! I owe you something. My vote is bipolar disorder.

Lucy Rhode said...

And by bipolar I mean borderline personality disorder. This is what happens when one takes the red eye.