Monday, January 01, 2007

NFL Playoffs: NFC Edition, AKA the Loser of the Super Bowl

Dallas vs. Seattle--Two teams that have desperately sought anything resembling consistency. It is extraordinary difficult to review the NFC playoffs without coming away sounding like a stereotypical Goth kid. Not the kind that shoot up their school--more like the kind who write poetry about how awful their life is, and how it is all meaningless. That bullshit. What possible meaning can one glean from this game? Dallas, with everything in the world to play for, let fucking Jon Kitna throw all over them. Parcells seems to be following some script I don't want to read. The Seahawks have been talking openly about how small their chances are to get back into the Superbowl, despite the fact that they have everyone back from last year plus Deion Branch. Why doesn't this team think it can win? Because it hasn't won a lot.

Still one assumes that if Detroit can pass all over Dallas, even without marginally OK running back Kevin Jones, that Seattle should have enough to win this game, even if it is Seneca Wallace running the show, which it won't be. I never thought this would be worthy football advice, but hey, Seattle, Do What Detroit Did.

I can practically guarantee that Parcells will over-coach this game into a loss.


NY Giants vs. Philadelphia--Somehow, some way, the NFC East is sending 3 teams to the playoffs. Jesu Christo! How bad was the rest of the NFC? No Hotlanta, no Carolina, no nothing else from anybody except conference champions. This game? We've seen it. A couple of times. The Giants need something weird to happen in their favor to have a chance. A punt return for a touchdown. Jeff Garcia getting drunk on Wine Coolers the night before the game. All of Philly's running backs being injured (that seems the most likely, given tonight's game, with Buckhalter hurting his knee (what? Buckhalter hurt?) and Ryan Moats limping around. If The Giants are smart, they go Gillooly on Philly, and kneecap Westbrook before he ever steps on the field. Unless something truly odd happens, Philly wins this game.

3 comments:

Jerious Norwood said...

I'm telling you, God works in mysterious ways. In this case that means that Tiki Barber's prissy ass is likely to explode (the fact that Chris Berman has a job proves my initial point... though it would be cool to see Chris 'I'm an annoying fucker' Berman's ass explode on live television.... I'd buy that for a dollar) and make the G-Men contenders to win the whole NFC. Who's gonna stop them, the Bears? Please.

Badcock said...

In divisional games it is harder to make a clear prediction of the winner. It is too bad that a "winner" will be crowned from these first games.

The NFC must go to the Saints or the Superbowl won't be worth watching.

By the way, Big BM responded to me ragging on the Lions by saying that he "liked Kitna." Now Big BM refers to him as "fucking Kitna."

You unconstant, capricious succubus. Fie ...

Phil said...

Heh, Robocop.