Randy Moss is like a stripper. He's got the talent, he's got the flash, he's got the waxed ass that makes you believe in the fantasy.
But, like a stripper, there's an insincerity in his game.
Anyone who can walk off a football field while there's 3 minutes on the clock isn't the kind of player you can "take home to ma."
Sure your friends envy you when you're dating a stripper. But they don't have to deal with the late-night phone calls at your place (when she's not even there). They don't have to smell someone's aftershave on her inner thigh. They don't have to talk to the police when she comes up missing.
Hot strippers are hot. But they're lousy girlfriends.
Randy Moss is a great receiver. But he's a lousy football player.
If the Pats can get him to play, they will be very difficult to beat. If they can't, Moss is looking at a one-way ticket to Detroit. Just like a stripper.
5 comments:
I accidentally turned on the Colin Cowherd ESPN radio show (really it was an accident, and you'll never get me to admit otherwise), and I shit you not... he made the exact same stripper analogy when describing the Patriots recent acquisition of Rany Maw. smallcock, as usual you're arguments are the stuff of third tier ESPN commentators. Maybe one day, if you're lucky, you'll get to meet one of them. If its any consolation, its obvious you're cut from the same cloth.
I'm just sad Badcock is going to such unimaginitive strippers. There are plenty of hirsute honeys out there who are absolutely driping sincerity (among other things). The key is to wear sweat pants and no drawers. You're protected against disease and you get a nice rubbing. Plus those sweats smell like stripper for a couple of days after. Win, win!
Perhaps, Mr. No-Wood, you're merely profoundly alienated.
I'm sorry that my premise appeared on ESPN radio. I don't know who was more embarrassed. But I promise that my post was original in thought, and not inspired by Colin Cowherd (who?) but, rather, a stripper.
Thanks for the tip, Garwood. I'll be buying some of those sweatpants, soon as I collect enough cans to get something nice at the Salvation Army.
I think you deserve a lap dance for this analogy. Not from me though, maybe from that soccer chick you like so much.
I love soccer, because it's good for girls' self-esteem and stuff.
Nice legs.
Do you think Randy Moss wil put out in the VIP room (aka the Patriots)?
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